margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
