And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
