is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
