So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
