just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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