is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
