Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
