My first STD was from a foam party
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
