New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
