Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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