I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My Higher Power is John Stamos
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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