My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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