maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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