My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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