Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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