My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
