one might say we're banned from that church
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize