Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
