Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
