i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
