fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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