I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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