the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
