i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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