I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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