just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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