booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
