she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
