I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
