Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
