i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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