just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
