there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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