This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
