Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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