So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
