I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
