last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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