You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
