yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
