But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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