5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
