I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
