You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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