Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
