drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
