So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
