Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
