You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
