Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
