I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
