Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
