There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
In America we eat man semen.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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