It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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