alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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