He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
