Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
