KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize